Pooping on a Plane: How to Do Your Business at 30,000 Feet

The moment has arrived. After enjoying the in-flight peanuts and soda, you suddenly feel the urge to use the bathroom. You make your way down the aisle, hoping no one notices your predicament. Once situated inside the tiny airplane lavatory, the question hits you – now what?

Pooping on a plane, at 30,000 feet in the air, seems simple enough. But let me tell you, it can be tricky! Between the cramped quarters, turbulence, and trying not to disturb fellow passengers, it takes some strategizing. As an experienced traveler, I’ve mastered the art of airplane potty breaks. So let me walk you through my tips for how to poop on a plane like a pro.

First and foremost, timing is everything. At the first sign of bowel rumblings, head for the lavatory. Don’t wait it out hoping the urge will pass. Nothing is worse than being mid-flight when disaster strikes. Take action preemptively to avoid a sticky situation. Once inside the restroom, relax and go with the flow. Rushing will only make it harder to get the job done comfortably. Oh, and make sure to pack your own TP. Running out mid-poop is less than ideal at 30,000 feet!

While not the most glamorous topic, pooping on planes is a reality for many travelers. With the right strategies, you can make it work without issue. Trust me, you’ll be thankful to have a plan when bathroom breaks beckon on your next flight!

Why Pooping on Planes Can Be Tricky

Airplane bathrooms are equipped with standard toilets intended for human waste disposal. However, the experience differs drastically from pooping in your own bathroom at home.

Several factors can make it more difficult to get your business done comfortably mid-flight:

Cramped quarters – airplane lavatories are tiny! Limited space to move makes it harder to get situated.
Lack of privacy – fellow passengers can sometimes hear what’s going on. Cue embarrassment.
Turbulence – changes in air pressure and bumpy rides can disrupt your bowel movements.
Cleanliness – heavy use by strangers between cleanings decreases the appeal.
Noise and smells – you may feel self-conscious about odors or noises that could bother others.

The good news? With the right strategy, pooping during flights doesn’t have to be traumatic. Let’s explore some tips and tricks to make airplane lavatories more poop-friendly.

How to Prepare for In-Flight Bathroom Breaks

Success starts before you even board the plane. Make pooping at 30,000 feet easier by planning ahead:

Hydrate well in the days before your flight to avoid constipation.
Avoid gassy foods that could make bathroom odors worse.
Take a probiotic to support healthy digestion.
Pack personal items like extra toilet paper, Poo-Pourri, and hand wipes.
Wear loose, comfortable clothing that’s easy to remove.
Use the bathroom right before boarding the plane to reduce in-flight urges.

Advance preparation helps set you up for smooth sailing once in the air.

Best Practices for Pooping on the Plane

You feel the familiar rumble mid-flight. Time to put these tips into action:

Choose the Right Time

Go as soon as the urge strikes to avoid discomfort or accidents.
Avoid turbulence which can make pooping more difficult.
If occupied, patiently wait your turn to avoid drawing attention.

Get Comfortable

Relax and breathe to allow your body to naturally pass stool.
Remove clothing fully from ankles for easier mobility in the compact space.
Sit backwards on the toilet to have more room and privacy.

Minimize Smells and Sounds

Engage the fan, flush, and run sink to create white noise.
Use air fresheners and odor-eliminating products liberally.
Close the door gently to contain noises.
Flush multiple times to keep odors at bay.

Practice Good Hygiene

Bring antibacterial wipes and sanitizer to clean surfaces.
Wash hands thoroughly to avoid spreading germs.
Inspect area and tidy up before exiting.
Use bathroom stall farthest from passengers to allow privacy.

What to Do If You Can’t “Go” on the Plane

Despite your best efforts, airplane bathrooms may not always be conducive for pooping. If you find yourself unable to go, try these troubleshooting tips:

Perform subtle exercises at your seat like leg lifts to encourage the urge.
Drink warm beverages which can stimulate bowel movements.
Wait until the lavatory is unoccupied for optimal privacy.
Relax and use meditation techniques to minimize performance anxiety.
Be patient and don’t force it. The urge may return later in the flight.
As a last resort, use a disposable bag and discard properly after landing.

With preparation and practice, pooping on airplanes doesn’t have to be a nightmare scenario. Apply these strategies to take control of your bowels at 30,000 feet! Just remember – you aren’t alone. Every traveler has to do their business up there at some point.

Top Tips for Pooping on Planes:

Hydrate well and avoid gassy foods before flying
Bring supplies like wipes, air fresheners, and extra TP
Use bathroom right when urge strikes to avoid accidents
Remove clothing fully for easier mobility
Create white noise and use odor eliminators
Relax, breathe, go slowly – don’t force it
Practice good hygiene before and after use
If unable to go, try exercises, fluids, waiting, and patience

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What if I can’t poop because the lavatory is occupied?

Wait patiently until it is available. Use meditation or subtle exercises at your seat to encourage the urge to return. Avoid laxatives that could act suddenly.

2. What if the airplane lavatory runs out of toilet paper?

This is why it’s wise to bring your own TP when flying. In a pinch, you can use paper towels or tissues to wipe. Just be sure to dispose of them properly and not clog the toilet.

3. How can I poop more comfortably in the tiny airplane bathroom?

Remove clothing fully, sit backwards on the toilet, relax your body, and take your time. Doing light stretches can also help get into a better position in cramped quarters.

4. What if I develop diarrhea mid-flight?

Diarrhea can happen, so come prepared with anti-diarrheal medication and extra underwear/padding. Use the bathroom as often as needed, hydrate well and avoid foods that could worsen it.

5. How do I avoid embarrassing odors or noises?

Maximize privacy by choosing the lavatory farthest from passengers. Run water, flush repeatedly and use fragrance sprays to contain odors. For sounds, turn on the fan, sink, or flush to create white noise.

Key Takeaways on Plane Potty Breaks

Just like at home, pooping on planes is simply a natural bodily function. With the right preparation and mindset, you can make using the airplane lavatory more pleasant during your next flight. Focus on relaxation techniques and minimizing disturbances to fellow passengers. And if it just isn’t in the cards mid-flight – no sweat, you can always go once you’re back on solid ground!